Had a good conversation with a friend the other day on the topic of love. Thought I'd gather some of my thoughts. . .
By being engaged, (yes you read correctly, if we haven't told you yet, my apologies, unless I don't know you, than hey, I can only do so much), I realize yet another detail on the subject of love. Most of what follows was sparked by the conversation I had online.
I've been thinking on the subject of unconditional love, and the idea that in certain relationships we claim this type of love. I feel I am blessed by God to have been given someone to love. Now, I can say I've been blessed by every person in my life, but this is something radically different. In the past, I've heard people say what a blessing so and so is in their life, but I'm not sure I've really thought about it in this way. In this case, and with this person, God has blessed me with someone whom I will be able to catch glimpses of the way in which God loves us. I now have a living example for me to begin to see and understand what it takes for God to love me the way he does. By loving my wife unconditionally, I will know joy, pain, anger, happiness, hurt, compassion, confusion, intimacy, frustration, grief, and of course, other emotions described by words I don't know. In all of this, I will be blessed with the ability to experience, in some small amount, what it must feel like for God to love us. I will know even more the pain God feels when I sin, and the amazing love that really exists for you and me. This love that exists for us to experience acts as a double edged sword. Love cuts deep, and it doesn't make sense. To continually love something that, at times, appears unlovely, or has no love to offer, is illogical and irrational. It isn't easy for me to wrap my brain around this kind of love . . . .I don't think I can. I can't understand a love that invites me and loves me when I run from it. One that runs after me, and begs to hold me, kicking and screaming, cussing and running. But this is the dirty kind of love God has for us. One that doesn't make sense in our selfish, sin-soaked world.
In my future marriage, I know that I will be unloveable. My fiance and I are, however, committing ourselves to loving each others unlovely selves. At this moment, love is easy, and it feels loving. This isn't, however, what we are committing to. We are committing to a love that will hurt, and one that will know pain. If we simply wanted the easy, feel-good love that this world offers, we would never have made it this far.
I think this blessing is made clearer in being a parent. Until I one day become a father, (oh geez), I will never fully understand what it is to love someone even when they don't want your love. Whew, I know I was that kind of kid. Dang what morons we are as children. heheh. As Bill O'Reilly says, "no good parent has never been hated by his/her children." I take full stock in that quote; not that I'm looking forward to the experience, but the aftermath.
This is the true blessing that loving one another brings; A God-given model to practice this love on. To feel what it is to love when there is no reason. A chance to understand, in a small part, what it is for God to love us. Whether we are given this chance in the person of a spouse, a child, a parent, or whomever, it is still a gift. A precious, pain-filled gift that will hurt us to the core if we jump in, but will be a real-life challenge course experience that gives us a glimpse of what it takes for God Himself to love people like us.
-Brandon-
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