My life of crime

Date: February 13, 2004.

Location: Downtown Lewisville, TX.

Scenario: A green Ford Focus, known near and far as 'The Green Machine' heads North on Main St. through Lewisville. The posted speed limit is 30 mph. The driver, obviously a wreckless danger to society, barrels through the streets at 41 mph. Suddenly, with swiftness and disregard for personal risk, an unmarked Lewisville policeman manages to catch the daredevil. Charged with speeding, this villain had the gal to present a drivers license donning an old address!

Today I went to Lewisville to state a plea to the judge that I was a student during 2003, and my address was still valid. All fine and dandy, except I was no longer a student come January 9, 2004, and law states you have 30 days to change your address, hence, the $85 fine remains. A few noteables during my time at the courthouse. . .


I walked into the courtroom to find 4 other people waiting. It was quiet. And I don't mean quiet like no one was talking. I mean quiet like if you blink everyone can hear it. I wanted to make a joke about the situation, but I figured some of the people around me might be in real trouble, or real pissed, so I didn't want to risk it.

Moment #1: When asked why she [the judge] should reduce the speeding charge of $180, a young guy said "Uhhhhhhhh. . .ummmmmmm, uhhhhhhh, welll. . . .uhhhhhhhh, hmmmmmm. . . .see I'm in college, and uhhhhhhhhh, I can't ummmmmm, afford it right now." Absolutely brilliant. Right there I wanted to tell the judge to guess what 'college' this guy attended. . . .man at least be smart enough to lie your way into an excuse. Geez I learned that when I was in kindergarten.

Moment #2: When I asked the judge how long the law gives you to change your license address, she didn't seem to know exactly. What ensued next was a mini debate between her, the balif, and the court reporter. The three of them came to the decision that you have 30 days to change it. And when I say 'the three of them', I really mean that the reporter said "I think you have 30 days" and that seemed good enough for the judge, so she just says "umm, yeah, you had 30 days to change it."

I love seeing Texas justice at work.