A Stern Report

Being thoroughly addicted to the AM Radio I feel I am as qualified as the next guy to make observations and recommendations concerning this media outlet. I've listened to plenty of hosts on the radio, but a couple weeks ago I realized I've ignored a rather large radio personality. Howard Stern. So I started tuning in to 105.3 FM in the mornings to listen to his show. After about two weeks I've come to some conclusions. . .

Howard Stern's morning talk show is horrible. I don't mean horrible like it offends me or I don't like the particular topics for the day or anything like that. I simply mean it's horrible. It's stupid. The jokes are never funny. Most of the guests act like they don't want to be there. And Howard doesn't really offer any big insight into anything worth talking about. The worst part of his show are the extras he has in the background. These guys add commentary to conversations, throwing in their two cents every now and then so they can be heard on the radio. None of it is ever funny, though. Even Howard doesn't laugh at the jokes these guys make. It reminds me of that one guy in the group who keeps adding to the conversation, but nothing he says is funny or even makes sense. (See the previous post about George Castanza for reference.)

I've listened to the show for about three hours total over the past couple weeks, knowing that friends of mine and I could do a better job. At least we'd be funny. And I guess that's the kicker. I don't mind if a talk radio show isn't funny if it's not supposed to be. Bill O'Reilly is never funny, but his show is interesting. Glenn Beck might make me laugh from time to time, but that's just an added bonus to his politically focused program. A show like Stern's is set up to be funny, because there's no real reason to listen except to be entertained. Stern, however, has few funny moments, and he reverts to sexual exploits whenever he knows he's failing. Now, like I said, it's not that the show offends me, or all his talk of sexual issues is inherently wrong. But he uses sex as a crutch to hold up his lousy show. It's like the kid who doesn't know any jokes, so he just makes fart noises as his last resort to get a laugh. (AKA, attention) (I think this also comes up with comedians who have to cuss every other word just to be funny. The most talented comedians I've ever seen don't have to cuss all the time because they're genuinely funny. They might cuss sometimes, but it's not their crutch. They don't have to pull laughs out by dropping f-bombs all over the place just to get attention.) Those things can be funny sometimes, but for my laugh you've got to have some talent. Throw me something witty or make a real joke. Don't just sit in the back row and yell out 'she said rod!' a hundred times.

[Rant-Post Wrap-Up]

Howard Stern's radio program is a waste of time. Stick to local morning shows if you want to laugh. Stick to the AM radio if you want serious talk.

Seinfeld

So I'm obsessed with Seinfeld. Me and half the country.

I don't know what makes a show like Seinfeld so good. It's reminiscent of Cheers or The Cosby Show. But something about it still keeps me hooked. I think I've seen them all, but one can't be too sure, because I didn't watch the show religiously when it aired. I'm just a re-run junkey.

A talk radio personality said the show was such a hit because none of the characters were actually likeable except Jerry himself. As he put it, "we wouldn't want to actually hang out with any of the characters except Jerry. However, their presence with Jerry seems to work well."
Makes sense to me, except I think I could handle having Kramer as the next door neighbor. At least it would liven things up a bit. And George is insane, but we all need a George in the group. (If you don't know who the George is in your group. . . .then you are the George.)

So here's some good news for all the Seinfeld addicts like myself. Thanksgiving day, two nights after the release of the Seinfeld DVD's, "The Seinfeld Story, a one-hour retrospective of the show's early history hosted by Seinfeld, and including episode clips and fresh interviews with costars Jason Alexander , Michael Richards and Julia Louis-Dreyfus." Source

Sounds good to me. At least now I already know what I want for christmas.

The things that are mine

For me it's a blue comforter that fits a twin extra long bed. . . . .how 'bout you?

You know about twin extra long beds if you've been to college recently. Universities started getting the longer beds awhile back, and for anyone 6' or taller, they're wonderful. For once in my life I had a bed that my feet didn't hang off of while I slept. I put the comforter back in the closet the other day and it reminded me of my things. These aren't just things, mind you, but the things that have been with me.

You see, that's what happens with things. They're meaningless to others, but profound to you. You can see your things in pictures alongside you, or sometimes in memories. At times we forget our things, and how they've been with us, but we're reminded by a photo album or a passing comment. I bet my things are just as random as yours. A couch that's older then me; a quilt made by a family member; A picture that's hung in every house I've ever lived in. You see, that's what we forget about our things. We forget that they've been with us. We forget that they've gone with us. Sort of like how I forgot about my blue comforter that fits a twin extra long bed.

To think about where I've been with this simple thing of mine astounds me. It's almost painful to recall all the emotional memories all at once. You know that feeling? When the wash comes over you and you can remember with vivid detail emotions of the past. I can remember when. . .

• I slept on the comforter my first night of college
• I went to sleep much to late on the comforter after long nights of doing nothing with friends but having the best times of my life.
• The comforter was in Minnesota with me in January when Thomas and I forgot to close our window at night, and I awoke under the comforter able to see my breath.
• I sought the mind of God while laying on the comforter after hearing of a tragic accident at Texas A&M.
• I spent countless nights wrestling with fear on the comforter during summers at Camp Lone Star.
• I've gone to sleep drunk on it.
• I've awoken drunk on it.
• I packed the comforter in a uhaul trailer and took it cross country when I was 18.
• I've rationalized skipping class because of the comforters warmth.
• I've laid under the comforter at night, fearing the next day.
• I've watched movies on the comforter when I should have been asleep.
• I had to sleep with that comforter the night I found out a friend of mine was getting divorced.
• I had to sleep with the comforter the summer I learned of my parents divorce.
• After the road trip that ended in a spectacular car wreck in the middle of the night in the middle of Wyoming, I couldn't wait to fall asleep on the comforter.
• I awoke on the comforter the morning of sept. 11, 2001 to the sound of my clockradio broadcasting the news.

When I look at the tattered blue comforter that fits a twin extra long bed I usually just see a crappy, old, cotton comforter. From time to time, though, I see countless other things.

You won't believe this.

So here's the deal. . . .

Things like this make me want to walk away from organized religion forever. I'm not sure I'd even offer a glance back as I headed out into the unknown.

-Just so you know-

If you're affiliated with the lcms in any way, you might be aware of the divisions between the conservative and liberal thinkers in the chuch. (Sound familiar?) Whatever your thoughts are on the issue, here's a new chapter in the war. At the recent National Youth Gathering, the president of the synod, Gerald Kieschnick, gave a sermon during a worship service. Now, bear in mind, this was a worship service with 35,000+ people. The average age had to be somewhere around 16 or 17. During his sermon, President Kieschnick brought his wife and grandchildren onstage to help make a point about the importance of family. His wife quickly said she was excited to see all the youth from across the nation, and how each one of us would have a chance to be used by God to reach others in our lives. (or some version of that.)

Now, I told you all that so I could tell you this. . . .

There's a lot of people who are pretty upset about Kieschnick's actions over the past couple years. But now they're arguing this sermon at the youth gathering, saying he had a woman preach and how he wants to eventually ordain women in the synod. Yeah you heard me. People are upset that a pastor's wife was allowed to address a crowd of 35,000 youth and simply say she was proud of them.

I was at the national youth gathering, and believe me, I had my problems with some of what went on. None of which had to do with any women onstage, or the lack of readings taken from the book of concord. Check out some quotes taken from the first website I link at the bottom of the post. This guy is a sophomore at Concordia University in River Forest:

"On another night Bob Lenz, director and founder of Life Promotions Inc. spoke to us. Bob Lenz is well known for his high involvement with ELCA ministries. He is NOT a Missouri Synod Lutheran, which is my first concern"

"Much of the hymnody were songs that are not in our Synodically adopted and approved hymnals (Worship Materials), which begged the question, why are we using them?"

"I did not see much value, if any in the presence of non-Lutheran outreaches and ministries, such as many of the Contemporary Worship bands, and Christian Music corporations, in addition to Life Promotions and other pan-Christian (and in some cases pan-Lutheran) groups"

"The sectionals, for the most part were also very helpful to many of them, granted Bob Lenz, David Benke and other individuals which are not necessarily in accord with historic Lutheranism spoke, but apart from those who were clearly divisive because of their pasts many youth found benefit in attending the sectionals."

Here are a few sites to draw your attention:

1. More of the sophomore at Concordia River Forest giving his insight at insyderhomielc.com
2. Hardcore conservative Lutheran atWorldmag (Check out an archived post about the Kieschnick thing here


I could care less about someone being Lutheran. I could care less if they join my church or add their name to some list. I don't care if someone knows that lutherans came from Germany, or who martin Luther is, or what the explanation of the third article of the apostles creed means. I don't care if they took the plastic cover off of their catechism, or if they know what happened at the council of Nicea. I don't care if they know why the pastor wears a collar, or why the hymnal is blue. I don't care if a high school kid at my church has ever seen a book of concord, or if he knows what my title 'DCE' means. What I do care about are people knowing the truth about the existence of God, and the way he did whatever it took to be in relationship with us. . . . . . . . . . . .oh yeah, hooray lutheranism.

-Peace-

Fun times

So I added a 'storied posts' section on the sidebar. Hopefully keep an easily accessible account of stories and favorite posts.

This Sunday a young girl from our congregation came up to me, as she so often does, to give me a hug and tell me all about her week. She's one of those innocent 5 year olds who could ramble on for hours but still manage to keep your undivided attention. My fiance was out of town that Sunday, and upon noticing, the young girl turned to me with a serious face and asked. . . ."Where's wife?"