Tuesday, September 28

A Stern Report

Being thoroughly addicted to the AM Radio I feel I am as qualified as the next guy to make observations and recommendations concerning this media outlet. I've listened to plenty of hosts on the radio, but a couple weeks ago I realized I've ignored a rather large radio personality. Howard Stern. So I started tuning in to 105.3 FM in the mornings to listen to his show. After about two weeks I've come to some conclusions. . .

Howard Stern's morning talk show is horrible. I don't mean horrible like it offends me or I don't like the particular topics for the day or anything like that. I simply mean it's horrible. It's stupid. The jokes are never funny. Most of the guests act like they don't want to be there. And Howard doesn't really offer any big insight into anything worth talking about. The worst part of his show are the extras he has in the background. These guys add commentary to conversations, throwing in their two cents every now and then so they can be heard on the radio. None of it is ever funny, though. Even Howard doesn't laugh at the jokes these guys make. It reminds me of that one guy in the group who keeps adding to the conversation, but nothing he says is funny or even makes sense. (See the previous post about George Castanza for reference.)

I've listened to the show for about three hours total over the past couple weeks, knowing that friends of mine and I could do a better job. At least we'd be funny. And I guess that's the kicker. I don't mind if a talk radio show isn't funny if it's not supposed to be. Bill O'Reilly is never funny, but his show is interesting. Glenn Beck might make me laugh from time to time, but that's just an added bonus to his politically focused program. A show like Stern's is set up to be funny, because there's no real reason to listen except to be entertained. Stern, however, has few funny moments, and he reverts to sexual exploits whenever he knows he's failing. Now, like I said, it's not that the show offends me, or all his talk of sexual issues is inherently wrong. But he uses sex as a crutch to hold up his lousy show. It's like the kid who doesn't know any jokes, so he just makes fart noises as his last resort to get a laugh. (AKA, attention) (I think this also comes up with comedians who have to cuss every other word just to be funny. The most talented comedians I've ever seen don't have to cuss all the time because they're genuinely funny. They might cuss sometimes, but it's not their crutch. They don't have to pull laughs out by dropping f-bombs all over the place just to get attention.) Those things can be funny sometimes, but for my laugh you've got to have some talent. Throw me something witty or make a real joke. Don't just sit in the back row and yell out 'she said rod!' a hundred times.

[Rant-Post Wrap-Up]

Howard Stern's radio program is a waste of time. Stick to local morning shows if you want to laugh. Stick to the AM radio if you want serious talk.


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