Finding Home

John Mayer has been one of my favorites ever since Aaron made me listen to some song on his laptop called Comfortable. Lately I've been learning to play a few more John Mayer songs; specifically a song called Why Georgia. You know how it is when you know some of the words to a song, but not all of them, so for the words you don't know, you just sing the tune with some crazy lyrics. Yeah you know what I'm talking about. . . .well this song was like that for me. I could sing it perfectly, with all the right inflection and what not, and in the car it was glorious. . .even though I had no idea what I was really saying. Well, I finally learned some of the lines and it was a reminder of a few things . . . . .so here we go.

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home.
But all I feel's alone.

Might be a quarter-life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul.

Everytime I go to someones house and they have little trinkits everywhere it kinda makes me sick. I wonder how many countless hours this person has spent at Hobby Lobby and Target to give their home a certain feel. You know how it is when someone lives in a suburb somewhere, but the inside of their home is decorated like it's a country home, or an african bungalow, or a fishing cabin, or whatever makes them happy. We put up a facade to create a reality for ourselves that isn't really there.
I think we find ourselves doing this in many areas of our lives as well. We watch reality happen on television instead of going out and living it. I often joke about how dangerous a sitcom like Friends can be if we don't keep ourselves in check. If I constantly expose myself to a false world in which all problems are solved in 30 minutes, no one really goes to work, money is never an object, sex is without consequence, and life is a constant weekend, I begin to forget what reality is like. (And it ain't like Friends.)

Just look at the music industry. . .
While Snoop sings constantly about his escapades, he never seems to rap much about his wife and three kids. You heard me, wife and three kids. Yes, the same kids that he doesn't allow to see his concerts or listen to his music. The same wife and kids he goes to after concerts where he lives more as a family man than the shizzle dizzle. But I guess family man rap doesn't sell many albums.

What about Fifty Cent, who, on an interview with Extra awhile back said "Y'know what. . .70. . . .no, more like 90 percent of all rap is a lie"

Or Fred Durst, lead singer of Limp Bizkit, who, after finishing his video for the song 'Nookie' said "All these girls, we had to hire them. This looks like a big party but I'm miserable inside"


So what's the point?

If we constantly feed ourselves these images of what our lives are supposed to be like, how can we not be dissatisfied with reality. Did you hear that? Not dissatisfied with our lives, but dissatisfied with life itself. As Madonna said, "I've been to the top, and it's really not that great."


The Search For Meaning

"Wake me up inside. . . .save me from the nothing I've become."
-Evanescence-


"I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answer. . .
Is there something more than what I've been handed?"
-Hoobastank-


"I want to heal
I want to feel
what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.
(erase all the pain til it's gone)
I want to heal
I want to feel
like I'm close to something real.
I want to find something I've wanted all along
somewhere I belong"
-Linkin Park-

To give this some semblence of order, I'll go back to what John said earlier. "But all I feel's alone". No matter our efforts, or our trinkets and cute pictures, we still feel empty. Is it just me, or does the evidence speak for itself? We're a society and a culture lost in our own lives. The bits and pieces of meaning we tac on to life just don't do it. Even those of us who achieve success, by this worlds standards, argue that there must be something more. I would attest, and will argue till I leave this world, that we are all correct; there is much much more to this life than we can ever imagine. (Ephesians 4:20) I hope you continue to be dissatisfied with this life.

As always, I have more, but will save it for later.

Peace,
-Brandon-